These coming-of-age events were such a huge deal for young women because women almost everywhere were entirely dependent on marriage to achieve any social, political, or economic status. This reminds me so much of English debutante balls, which also present women to society when they come of age and are looking for husbands. Women’s coming of age was equated with their readiness to become wives. And presenting them like princesses wasn’t really a birthday treat, but more of an opportunity for young Filipinas to find husbands ( Escalona, 2018 Gono, 2019 Kirkpatrick, 2014). Traditional Filipino debuts present not 1, but up to 24 debutantes in the year of their eighteenth birthdays. It’s always the women who celebrate coming of age in front of large groups of people and in a glamorous style. There are different iterations of this same idea in the quinceañera and the sweet sixteen. I really can’t imagine how a girl deals with this on top of her schoolwork and hobbies.īecause of the money and time needed to pull these off, debuts tend to be celebrated by middle to upper-class people. There are dance rehearsals, multiple dress fittings, hair and make-up trials, guest lists, consultation with logistics, photographers, videographers, and caterers, etc. The 18 treasures, for example, symbolize the things the debutante will need to succeed as an adult.ĭebuts require so much labor to pull off. These all symbolize some aspect of her transition to womanhood. The debutante has to wear a long gown or a ball gown her entourage dance a cotillion number the 18 most important men in her life–dubbed the “18 roses”–dance with her the 18 most important women in her life–dubbed the “18 candles”–give their well wishes through speeches and the 18 most important aunties and uncles–dubbed the “18 treasures”–give gifts to her. I use the term “ritual” because debuts follow an established set of customs. Using anthropological language, a debut is a ritual to celebrate a woman’s 18th birthday and her crossover to adulthood. Some debuts are even as grand as weddings. In its most simplest definition, debuts are birthday celebrations–but on steroids. I discovered that while this tradition has a deep patriarchal history and tends to pigeonhole women into one type of feminine ideal, it also serves political, social, and emotional functions to those who celebrate it in the present day.ĭebuts are a tradition and a norm, and as always, I like questioning traditions and norms, exploring what they really mean, and figuring out how we can break out of them if we want to. Why? What’s with women and coming of age? But to all these, I ask: why don’t men have it to that extent too? Granted, there are 21st debuts for men, but these are so rare and much less glamorous. Debuts can be a contentious topic some say it’s a waste of time and money while others say they just want to feel like a princess for one night. These events are often lavish, prepared months or even years in advance, and no doubt a real hoot. I’ve been to a couple of debuts but didn’t have one myself due to a personal preference. Debuts were a huge deal when I was growing up. I didn’t realize that 18th birthday debuts were just a Filipino thing until I went to Canada, where none of my friends have ever heard of it.
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